As I fall… I rise above my fear

Life as we see it is all about accomplishments. So as we walk on this path, sometimes our Kleshas (the structural defects), that we are born with, makes us go only half the way.

During my three months yoga certification programme, I wanted to accomplish shirshasana (the head stand posture). So I did, but with the support of the wall. Extremely happy until Fernando (my batch mate @ The Yoga Institute and an ardent follower of Hatha Yoga)  made me realize my dependency to the wall. Later it unfolded as my fear (abhinivesh) and my attachment to my beliefs (raag) of what I can and cannot do. So when I started practicing shirshasana, very soon I did give into my fear of falling and getting hurt. That is when Fernando insisted that if I fall, which is natural, I just have to relax and let go rather than clinging to my fear (raag). This is how I would prevent any kind of injuries. Thus my journey towards the fall started. Once when I did topple over, I realized that only if I relaxed, it was not painful as I had envisioned. That was the setting stone  towards my accomplishments as I burned my kleshas . Today I do the shirshasana  without any wall support, and yes still I do fall but only to rise again.

This learning made me push myself for another feat. While in NYC attending the Broadway Dance Center classes, one of the most admired choreographer Tracie Stanfield had made us do a 180 split on the ground and then roll forward keeping the split intact. There again, I had had given into my ignorance (avidya) and fear (abhinevesh). I thought I lacked the flexibility to maintain the 180 while rolling and would hurt myself in the process. As I sccumed to my kleshas , I was awed when the beautiful dancers like Heidi and Tara did the move with so much elan.

So after my toppling incident, I really wanted to work on this move and my constant inspiration were the picture of Heidi and Tara doing the move. The first time it did hurt bad but only to realize that it is possible for me too. Today after my asanas  practice, I make it a point to end the session with the same front roll.

Yoga for me is my step towards understanding, accepting and working on my limitations.

As I learn from my teachers and experts (Tracie, Fernando, Heidi, Tara) I intend to overcome my ignorance (avidya) by listening and trusting them and accepting my limitations. I overcome my ego (ahimsa) as listen and watch others for inspiration. As I work towards every milestone I detach (raag)myself from my beliefs that limit me  and also the accomplishments looking foward for more. I overcome my likes and dislikes (devesh) of my comfort level. Lastly all in all I overcome my fear of change (abhinivesh).

So when I fall, I rise above myself.