‘Undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution…..” said British philosopher and political activist Bertrand Russell.
Off lately along with terrorism, all that I hear and read is about molestation, rape, marital rape and flashers.
Often wondering the reason why the second offence is on the rise. Molested by an uncle at the age of 5, sexually abused by my ex-husband, know many who have been through and going through the same, handling lewd calls for my yoga classes, taking care of a flasher in my class. Why??
When I got molested, all confused and shaky went crying to my aunt, was asked to keep quiet. Few years later the very same uncle tried his hands on another aunt of mine. She was asked to be quiet too.
Why??? I guess taboo, shame, family pride and the man thinks he is superior to all the woman because they keep quiet.
Decided to marry a man who promised freedom and love. But along with that came his verbal abuses. So naturally, the love and fondness just gets buried. Result, more verbal abuse since my rule of no feelings/connection, so no sex, demanding divorce, being photographed and filmed nude without my knowledge, being emotionally abused for ruining his life (what about mine was always answered with the fact that I had no emotions at all) and when I was physically at my weakest point (an operation and immobile ) was sexually abused. So when I threatened to file a criminal offence against him (since marital abuse/rape laws considers it my duty to be at my husband’s beck and call), I got mutual divorce settlement. I was happy because I got my freedom and my new life rather than being involved with the Indian Law System. The man thinks that we should be friends and I should help him when he needs me to.. Really!!! No shame at all….
Flashers on the roads in Mysore (yoga hub for students from all around the world), flashers in my class (wearing cut out pajamas with no underwear in the name of yoga), and asked if I can provide something more than Yoga classes in my private trainings. Why?? Flashing is not a criminal offence, we women keep quiet and the men think that it’s ok, it’s fun or maybe they think that WOMEN ARE JUST WEAK.
My appeal to all the women first – Speak up, it’s there shame not yours. Protect your children and protect yourself.
My appeal to the big wigs of India whose voice matters – Change in the marital laws, make flashing in public a criminal offence (it will also take care of the problem of the men peeing in public places).
P.S. men though a generic term, it refers to the creeps that I have encountered.
Thanks to the viral letter from Shenaz Treasuryvala, I wanted to speak up, be open and just let it out in hope that laws will change.
More importantly WE, WOMEN WILL ALSO CHANGE BECAUSE MORE THAN THE SCAR ITS HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE YOUR FUTURE IS MORE IMPORTANT.